It's these times in life, that bring you back to your reality. These few times that present to you themselves, hugely devoted so you can see what it means to look beyond what your past has taught you as against what you really wanted in life.
It shows you the people you wish you had met ages ago and things turned out differently. But they make you smile, almost out of turn , yet so surprisingly infectious is there stay that you wake up in the morning and reach out to the ones who caused these moments.
But the fear never leaves you really.
Small blocks, sometimes self afflicted and created, always stay and loom over you... Those times that you stand out looking at the nascent greens sprawling in the outer world and the breeze that brings back memories of the month you were born, the month of gleeful wetness, the first smell of damp Earth...
The child within you is raring to be let out and to smile at every stranger that God has put on your way; and most of all that one person who just was non-existent a month ago; and still is distant in the strict sense of worldly distances.
But the wounded bigwig, the know-it-all cause I faced-it-all, holds the reigns... Don't go that way she says... it will never give you what you need. But it has already, the infant cries, and I don't want to lose it... ever. Faint in her voice she draws the infant to her bosom...and that's what you've known so far, but the truth is , you know it is never what it seems and never will be. So as long as you want to be merry, play and giggle, I will be here standing, watching out for you. I am the restraint, the Mind who has felt the pain , of distrust, disrespect, of love-less-ness and loneliness. Yet I have wanted to be forever alone because I have you, You - that I love and so strangely protect.
Because I care - I care to preserve this face of me, and let it be , revel within the boundaries of security made by me. It is true , that you the infant cannot be mean, save be vulnerable all the time. But don't ask me to go away- not yet, because the time has not come...