Insights...

I know I'm back to blogging. Or is it just a new found bad thing that you cling on to, in the middle of a set of events.
There are some levels of naivety... and you really can't jump across levels. No - maybe another of my capabilities. I don't have the patience. Not that I want to jump the first and get to the end straight. I want things to take their own time. But I just don't have patience to see someone evolve from being a show off, a yes-guy at all times and odds - you can't always say 'yes' ... there has to be a healthy conflict of opinions - that too consistently. You should be able to enjoy patches of silence and indifference together. Well - I am a drifter and I like it this way sometimes.
I have been reading about tarot for a while now... There's this great interactive website that I have been spreading a good word about, because I love what it does for me. I call them insights... into what you're really thinking deep down. How you perceive situations with a little lead. I love what it does to my mind. It splits me into a rationalist and a 'querrent'... You have the question and the answer.
And I have had these terrible 2 weeks where I agree I have been more than momentarily stupid. That is specifically why people like me should not have - free time or nothing to worry about. I have been bringing it upon myself... some constructive moves, some situational fuck ups, and others - I still can't categorize or describe... those that still surprise me.
But I realize some signs in life are subtle. They never give you your answers... they just lead you there. At times, you just can't say no... but you're there and you know your answer would have been - NO... But what the hell - you got yourself stuck right in the center.
When there's a distinct sense of individuality, you know your boundaries and can still cross over seamlessly, quite effortlessly - you have simple magick! And to think that's forbidden, far off or even unattainable saddens you. :( ... It upsets you by greater leaps and stretches to realize it was not all that simple and straight.
Now I don't melt when a guy talks about ice creams. That's right .. That just puts me off totally and forever... its simply the end. But I love an articulate thought frame. It excites me to think that I can talk to someone with the right ideas... and then listen most of the time and enjoy great periods of silence and still communicate seamlessly.
But hey... I still mess it up to unbelievable limits. I still mess it up when I talk my best friend... just perception.