Summer Rains...

She looked out of the window. The wet summer rain and the soft droplets shining like pearl droppings in the faint sun.
She took in a deep swig of the moist wind. Her face covered with her palms to feel the splashes that brilliantly settled on them from nowhere.
Where now? She remembered asking herself this question a million times before. She never remembered the answers, even if she did.
She smiled as she drew a long, deliberate, invigorating puff of the most precious weed she had drawn into her lungs in ages.
Better, best forgotten...
The track played like the Gods were trying to modify the impression we earthlings have conjured of them.
Life is not trying to prove itself to anyone. It is what it is, always. At times, it may spring at you across the vast emptiness, with a purpose to help you delve deep into your conscience, and at other times because you're just bored with no one to talk to.
Either ways, it will just pass. It is important not to trust anyone, just like it's important to let others be free. You can refuse to do it and be vehemently demanding, but ... doesn't help.
Some people feign understanding what your core is. Others simply ignore.
She longed to meet someone who will better learn to ignore her but still stay, lurking in the silence of co-existence, of a deeper bond and acceptance. Someone who doesn't love her, only to start building a 'desirable' person around her very truth ; only to start taking advantage of her efforts.
And why should one 'try'? Am I not being honest in saying that I am just tired of trying ...
Don't tell me it's for my own god, that I should stop being...

The cell buzzed - always on silent ... yeah. Time to go pitcher downing...
See I told you... it will just pass.

...So on and So forth...

Everything that happens, is for a purpose. Good or bad - is a different story.

Knowledge is without bounds... what you choose to remember and carry forward in life [and beyond] is limited.
The Self is the only gateway to realization. The only bond with the world and the Godhead; hence the most basic and important part of existence. Integrity is how you choose to stand by the Self- the discipline you inherently apply to your beliefs and actions.
The Self is the way it is now be-cause of so many incidents and experiences of the past [which occurred on purpose].
When the Self becomes predominant and not it's essence - you create an arrogant monster covered with scabs and wounds that can never heal.
When the Self is forgotten and its essence belittled or shrunk - you lose the crux of existence, the connection to the Godhead - therefore, the purpose of your life, whether it's salvation, redemption or achievement.
The Self is to be experienced, understood and improved. It has to be made useful and its learnings shared relevantly. Its desires achieved to establish what's called the Cycle of Life and Death.

Listen up!

I don't believe a word that you say anymore. I don't live within the cages of your extremities and you don't know what you're up against...
I surprise myself with all that I can think of. I'll surprise you someday, when you try me too much and beyond.
Each time that I smile and look on innocently, when you lie, ignore and hide - there's a faint tingling within me that makes me tell myself - "This, my friend, is just the beginning".
They say all relationships in this world are mere compromises 'petite-ly' wrapped in facades of love and understanding. The fact is nothing is unconditional. So what if I am a fool? So what if I never learn... I still have the balls to live life on my own terms. I still have what it takes to elevate myself and most around. Something your doctrines never postulated...
Have I become simple in the words that I use? I call it arrogance balanced with the acceptance that most people are just obnoxiously self-conceited... And I really don't want to insult you, embarrass you when you read this.Hence, the simplicity.
You know you are lying. You cannot face the demon in you. And so you see streaks of that same demon in everyone around. But you know.... You ARE lying.
I may not say so. I may just smile as if I really believe you, your ideals and spiritual aspirations. If you confront me and ask if I am lying all the while - I'd just look clueless and you know I can fake better than anyone.
What can I do? I know there's a purpose in me being here... A purpose that is not written and formally, contractually agreed upon. And I will achieve it, like I always have.

The Essence of Time...

It's crazy at times. The way life pulls you to the extremes. You refuse to accept. You refuse to learn. Thus, 'create a new chapter, a new inspiration in life. Is that what the cycle of life is all about? I say - Well, you have to be there, in the centrespot to turn the wheel around, many times over.
Nothing around you is real. No experience can really teach.
... Unless, you willingly create the cause.
We still beg like dogs for answers. We still hunger for reason, for logic.
We still hold on to the legs of our wooden cots and refuse to let go.
Worse still, we think we are clinging on to comfort and that makes us guilty.

Care to just stop thinking for a moment? Ever sought happiness like you were really born to feel some?
Oh yeah... why didn't God just write tags and notes - put them on us like decipherable birthmarks. Why did he choose to speak the languages of planets, signs, miracles and penance - something the raving holy men were meant to understand? So he can make your understanding of life difficult to achieve. And thereby he created, like a mountain etched with poetry, a reason - a purpose for us, transiting souls, to 'tweedle' and play with.

There's so much that binds you to the past. There's so much that keeps bringing you back ... for more and more.
Just like you can't have had enough.
Why do you break promises? Not because you cannot keep some... Because he wants you to know that some things are just not meant to be. That you must face it.
Struggle is not a part of life. It's not life at all.

Struggle is the undertone or the overtone. Life is what you do/think/be/ act in between...

There are great men. And there are others.
But great mean suffer most. Why?
Suffering is not elevation. Elevation is what comes after you get over the pain. The sweet arrogance - that you got through.
... Just live the pain, the anger, the joys, the loneliness, the highs, the stupor... You don't want to live to regret that you hadn't...

Mumbai... am coming [:D]

Red is the colour of my Heart...

Yesterday... was a choice

Sometimes, I walk by the sandy beach
Alone.
I try to count the grains of time
that have swept by these shores

So many times
So many years



A choice each one made
To Stay
To Leave
To delve into the timeless pits of reality
Alone.

There was a time
When you were around
That these moments faltered
Created an illusion
So often, that we were reeling
The spool of Dreams
that ended in nothing.

There is nothing that I can I ask you today
Nothing that I can speak
No dreams in the night time of my life
No nightmares, Or faceless effigies to burn

Dawn to dusk
I walk along this shore.
Each morose twitch of pain
Subsides like it was never before
Yet, the sun rises and sets in absolute harmony.

Perhaps the loneliness has taught me something
Shown me its need
And I have flown so high in its wings
So far away
That we can never even smile that way again.



If Farewell is so hard to bear
If Goodbye is so hard to say

Let's drown it in silence
like the questions on each grain...

Let's part like we never met.